Deia Documented.
It all began with an idea… And ideas are all the parts of dreams.
Most of my songs come from the dream world. I say pretty often that I am a collaborative artist - my first collaborator is with God, the Holy Spirit. I get visions, stories, and music from God and my dream life. If I take credit for everything that I’ve ever written, it would be a rude and egotistical move. I’m learning everyday on ways to listen and write what I hear from the Spirit.
While the album was released October 9th, 2020 - the dream to write and release this project started five years ago. Here I’ll share the moments and memories that led me to where we are now along with the lyrics that came with each song.
Dreams
The earliest dream I remember was when I was five years old. This is me then, on my 5th birthday party at my Grandma’s house in Southwest Philadelphia. I think it was that night or the night before my birthday, I remember walking down a winding staircase as a grown up; wearing this long gown that sparkled like the night sky - I was singing.
Most kids have plenty of dreams that fade, but I always knew I’d be using my voice. And so I sang all the time; to feel, escape, imagine. Singing was my superpower.
The Words.
Sin (Part One)
This is me in 2016, realizing that if I didn’t start to write more and go to therapy… one of the moments where I was my worst; mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I took this while in Ithaca, NY trying to not be angry all the time and for whatever reason I never felt comfortable to show my pain. Always doing the most or never leaving my room to face the day. Sin is defined as “missing the mark” and I just felt that I was so far from my dreams and purpose - so far from who I thought myself to be and what I was capable of. I got used to putting on a face that I forgot who I was.
The Words.
Sometimes I sit and wait, and wait
beat. beat.
Sometimes, I take a breath… and I wait.
beat. beat.
Sometimes I go inside my room and turn out the lights.
beat. beat.
Sometimes, I run away and hide.
beat. beat.
Can we all sit down? Can we all talk and can we all look me in the eye?
Can we all sit down? Can we all talk and can we all look me in the eye?
I’m going down a dark road…
Kollektive
May 29 - June 2, 2017 | Bass Harbor, Maine
Barn Arts Collective
We drove from Cherry Hill, NJ took a stop in Brooklyn, drove to Ithaca and all the way to Maine to start the first phase of the album. Nick and Josh (left to right) were in my opinion the mad scientist and sound specialists in creating Sin and Kollektive, respectively. I don’t have any pictures that show where I was when writing the words, so I thought this moment was appropriate. Kollektive is the darkest point in the project - I was remembering the state of my mind during a terrible panic attack. It was a mixture of terror and drugs I just wanted to escape my own depression and try to feel something.
The Words.
Sometimes I sit and stare, it’s on my mind
Nothing to talk about I won’t waste your time
I contemplate the moments I have blindly
Slipped by as I beg my own lungs to exhale
Not that I’d let myself wait so long to breathe
And how my remedies will never let me be free
I contemplate about my existential way of being and fall into the black sinking
Where is my mind?
Don’t go too far they’ll never reach you once you’re out
Where is my mind?
Don’t drift too far too far cause they won’t catch you
No they won’t
Don’t go too far they’ll never reach you once you’re out
Where is my mind?
Don’t drift too far too far cause they won’t catch you
Sometimes I sit and stare and wonder why
How life can be so real and so unkind
To every man and girl, why this is called the great divide
No one person sees eye to eye
Not that I’d let my self turn the other cheek
I’d saddle up to battle for the girls just like me
It’s horrifying when the ones who die are not diseased
These men are mighty bold and free
Where is my mind
Don’t go too far they’ll never reach you once you’re out
Where is my mind?
Don’t go too far too far cause they won’t catch you
Where is my mind
Don’t go too far they’ll never reach you once you’re out
Where is my mind?
Don’t go too far too far cause they won’t catch you
Sometimes I sit and stare, I play rewind
I’ll look back on the times they say they were justified
They claimed to treat us women with the same respect they lied and I refuse to sit by
Not that I’d let my self bite down my tongue
If I don’t speak my mind why would anyone
I’m tired of lying down
I’ll burn your statues now
Just let em burn let em burn let em burn
That’s Killing Words
This is a documented conversation between my Grandma, myself and my Mom. We were sitting in the car in front of my parents house. It was night time. It was summer 2017.
In the midst of the journey…
I began writing Mine. One of my personal favorites, as it came while playing my little baby Sun, my kalimba, as we drove up to Bass Harbor. The simple melody carried through against the landscape of silent trees, sleeps, and the long ride. I could hear God singing to me again, not to worry about the unknown, only to follow the steps in front of me. That what I had within me was written on my heart before I even knew it and that I should trust.
“Come.
In the shadow of my hand, I hold you.
Why worry or fear?
I have formed you before they have known you
Your place is right here
And so as I elevate you, Death tried to face you, but still you are.
I have aimed the perfect arrow,
I shot the mark in the midst of the dark.
C’mon child and walk on the water with me.
Don’t you know who you are?
C’mon child there’s path I have laid at your feet.
Don’t you know whose you are?
You are mine
See the stones I have placed all around you
They color your name
I have granted all heaven to guard you
In your desert and rain
And so as I elevate you, Death tried to face you, but still you are.
I have aimed the perfect arrow,
I shot the mark in the midst of the dark.
C’mon child and walk on the water with me.
Don’t you know who you are?
C’mon child there’s path I have laid at your feet.
Don’t you know whose you are?
You are mine
Come.
Out of the darkness, into the light.
Out of the darkness, yeah I gave you life
Come out of the darkness and into the light, for you are mine.”
Fishtank.
A more funky exploration of what it looks like to live the life God plans for you… We are all fish.
Watch the live performance below. A memory from 2020.
Some Songs Take a While
And writing Supernova took 2 years to write. Well, it took many tries over the two years. The words came when I first moved back home after leaving Ithaca. I performed it once, and felt like the sound wasn’t it. It wasn’t until 2020, when I met my friend Dan Goode did the pieces come together. I guess the lesson is true, some things can only be unlocked when you find the right person or people. That’s what Supernova is about - the importance of real relationship.
B2B
The Words
I met my man in a daydream
Ain’t no question of what he thinks
Even when I feel alone, I’m wrong
He’s there, he comes right back, he’s there for me
Everyday when I go home the pressure’s gone
I’m lost in so much love for you
Feel the sun on my skin, you’re there within me
My heart is full to the brim
Ain’t no reason to complain
Because my man’s got a hand that’s strong for me
And everyone can clearly see
When we roll up we roll in deep
I met my man in a daydream
Ain’t no question of what he thinks
Even when I feel alone, I’m wrong
He’s there, he comes right back, he’s there for me
Mm, turn the lights down low
It’s just me and you when my eyes are closed
And I know there’s nowhere else I’d go
You see my direction and direct my steps while we flow
I hold on tight, we zip and fly, I’m enjoying the ride
You bring out the best, all that I can be
I hold on to every single word you speak
In your light I breathe, I’m free, I see
Nobody can cop’ this one thing
See what we have is the real thing
You won’t take away your love from me
Beginning to end you will stick by me
My comfort and friend you’ll always guide me
Oh, oh, oh ride or die, through and through
Oh, oh, oh dark days never stay cause the sun’s shining through you
Oh, oh, oh you’re my ride or die, through and through
You’re the only reason why I’d never want to leave this life
Sing it again, one time
I met my man in a daydream
Ain’t no question of what he thinks
Even when I feel alone, I’m wrong
He’s there, he comes right back, he’s there for me
Deia.
A love song, a lullaby, a letter to the soul.
This song is a living thread for me. From the moment I first heard the melody in my head in December 2016 to this day, it speaks to me and helps me out of the darker nights. It helps me shift perspective and remember to keep going, that everything is working for my good.
When we were in Maine, my best friend and I thought we would document the whole journey for a documentary of some sorts. Sadly, the hard drive died and we lost the files… here is the only episode.
I like the drama of it all anyway.
“Your old life was not a failed life, I will rewind to show you all that you’d go through was divine.
Like a precious wine needs to be refined and re-infused, I take all the parts to make a sweeter juice.
So be not ashamed of your mistakes cause they were in time.
A detour you thought to drive away, I designed.
And all the pain you faced, you prayed for brighter days, I will provide.
The breath you forced out - I breathe in, give new life.
You believed I forgot all that you knew and I turned my ear away from you, no.
Like a father loves his child, I give you new wings to watch you fly.
So be not derailed by your heartaches, though they made you cry.
A detour you thought to drive away, I designed.
And all the pain you faced, you prayed for brighter days, I will provide.
The breath you forced out, I breathe in to give new life.”
Windows
The Words
Collabs Are My Favorite
This song was written with a cartoon in mind, telling a simple yet powerful story about how I learned to love myself.
If you listen close, you’ll always hear…
At the end of the day, it’s better to hear what comes from within then to always count on the outside for direction.
The Words
Everybody’s looking for the end
Getting closer can’t even pretend
Eyes all over looking for the signs
Let me redirect you to your side
I’ll show you what’s perfect
Order and directed for ya
I know what is better for ya
Searching for justice
If you would incline your ear
Be happy to tell you so
Hear, Hear
It’s not in your mind
Trust my voice and learn to
Hear, hear
You won’t fall behind
Cause I’m guiding right
Here, I’ll be right here
I’ll be right here so you can
Hear
So you hear me
Do you hear me?